Transwomen and Sex
Sex As A Woman
This article focuses on transsexual women who have had Sex Reassignment Surgery (SRS) - a separate article is needed for pre-SRS women. Whilst male to female transsexuals have widely differing sexual experiences, I believe that this comment from Nikkey - two years after she had SRS at age 25 - represents a fair compromise of opinions: "I enjoy sex like any normal girl".
By definition, male to female Gender/Sex Reassignment Surgery radically alters the genitalia of the person who undergoes this. Whatever their sexual inclination, most post-SRS transwomen have a great curiosity about making love to a man as a woman. A quote from a transsexual woman in the UK:
The above quotation certainly doesn't apply to all transsexual women, but most can relate to it.
A Rain Check
For some post-SRS women, their first sexual experiences with a men can be wonderful and strongly influence their future sexuality. For example, one transwoman in her late 20's said after her first night with a man, "I had discovered sex ... a new hobby ... more boys in to bed".
But for others the experience can be a huge disappointment, one transwoman in her early 40's says of her first experience with a man: "Just worried [beforehand] ... I was bored ... have to change the sheets". Another admits "I don't have the sex drive I had as a boy ... my husband wants sex all the time but I limit it to maybe every other night as it's so boring."
Perhaps inevitably there seems to be a degree of correlation between sexual satisfaction and successful physical feminisation, including age of transition and high quality surgery. Good physical feminisation results in more relationships with attractive and 'sexy' partners, and hopefully more enjoyable physical sensations during everything from kissing, petting and nipple sucking, to clitoris stimulation and vaginal penetration.
Individual priorities also vary dramatically, as the requests made of surgeons in relation to constructing or enhancing the female secondary sexual characteristics of transsexual women show. By a large margin the first surgery sought by transsexual women is actually breast augmentation, not SRS.
Facial feminisation surgery is often the next priority. Prior to about 1995 this really just meant a nose job (rhinoplasty), but progress since then has been extraordinary. For many transwomen with deep pockets and willing to stand the pain, an attractive female face is often only a large cheque away.
Sex reassignment surgery is usually the last item on the surgery list. The development and subsequent maintenance of a vagina suited to accommodating a penis can be a surprisingly low priority - for older women in particular there seems to be a divergence between stated intentions when first seeking surgery, and the reality when speaking to the surgeon just before having the procedure. A reasonable speculation is that some transwomen prefer having a natural looking vulva area or a sensitive clitoris over good vaginal depth, for sexual reasons that include lesbianism and masturbation.
There can certainly be no doubt about the very female heterosexual orientation and libido of many young (under 30) transwomen - before and after surgery. An intense desire to be f*cked as a woman by a man is common, one young transgirl describes her SRS at 18 and early sexual experiences:
Many young girls undoubtedly make up for lost time after their surgery. For example:
There is a lot of unfortunate debate about the sexuality and reasons why older transwomen seek SRS, but regardless of this some undoubtedly have a very active and happy sex life as women:
But these women are all passable and had SRS by age 35 at the most. It cannot be ignored that some post-SRS transsexual women who desperately desire and seek sex with men as a woman find that their mature age and poor passability means that such occurrences are rare - and associated depression and disillusionment is probably not unusual.
There are also many transwomen who consider themselves as to be heterosexual, but in practice have little interest in the actual sex. For example, Samantha Kane (who had SRS at age 37) concluded after five boyfriends that sex as a woman was rather boring - indeed far less interesting than the preliminaries to a big night out such as a shopping trip. There's no doubt that quite a few genetic women would agree with her!
The Lure of Money
The sexual image of transsexual women has been distorted by the prevalence of pre-SRS 'shemales' working as prostitutes, with functional penis's. This has become a huge world-wide industry, and very lucrative for the girls and minders involved. Even excluding Asian and South American girls, empirical evidence indicates that a third to a half of all young pre-operative transsexuals have accepted money for sex. Large numbers of transwomen are being embarrassed when unexpectedly faced with photo's and other evidence taken from porn sites years earlier.
Whilst trying to ignore the controversy about Professor Bailey's idea's, it does seems that there are two categories of girls involved - those that never eventually have SRS, and those that do. For the later, prostitution is often an unfortunate but quick way to save the money needed for surgery, e.g. Cristini Notta said "My penis paid for my vagina".
For post-op shemales, most seem to subscribe to the mantra that "Men penetrate and women are penetrated". The alternatives such as a strap-on penis raise serious questions as to why they had the surgery.
Medical science still hasn't really explained what causes sexual arousal, but for women (including transsexual women) there seems to be a more substantial and important 'mental' element than men.
During foreplay and love making, women are more likely to imagine that they are making love to an out-of-reach object of desire (film star, pop star, etc) than men. Perhaps less comfortably, many girls also have private fantasies involving sadomasochism, sexual harassment, assault and rape, which they use as stimulation during masturbation. According to Dr Alfred Kinsey, 2% of women can reach orgasm from fantasising alone!
Erotic fantasies are a normal and healthy fact of life for women and transwomen, a few are even able to bring themselves to orgasm though imagination alone, without any physical stimulation - something very rare in men.
For quite a few heterosexual transwomen, the mere act of vaginal penetration by a man causes extreme mental excitement which quickly leads to an orgasm, i.e. very little actual physical stimulation is required. On the other side, for a lesbian transwomen a mass orgy with the Chippendales studs might be a waste of lubricant, but holding hands with a girlfriend in public could be totally thrilling.
Sexual Desire and Enjoyment
The limitations of even the most aesthetically successful sex-reassignment surgery seems likely to account for the last two points. There is also no doubt that like other women, the libido and sexual enjoyment of transsexual women can vary from negligible to intense, whether or not they are classified as lesbian, bisexual or heterosexual.
After surgery many (but certainly not all!) post-SRS transwomen have a relatively low libido, and often an unwanted bias towards their anus rather than vaginal areas for physical sexual stimulus and enjoyment.
To simulate libido and vaginal excitement, the best answer is determined daily masturbation (up to 30 minutes or orgasm) using aids such as pornography and vibrators. If libido remains very low, taking small doses of testosterone can help - whilst considered to be a 'male' hormone, post-SRS transwomen often have lower blood levels of testosterone than genetic women.
During sex with a man, the transwomen suffers slightly from the fact that her pelvis has a slightly different structure from a genetic woman - preventing or making painful some common sexual positions. Also, unless the surgery has been of exceptional quality, she will have less clitoral stimulation that the average genetic woman, and the traditional 'missionary' position will have very little physical stimulus. The 'girl on top' approach is most likely to lead to enjoyment and orgasm - this allows her to find the optimum angle for vaginal penetration, permits stimulation of the clitoris area, and allows for mutually enjoyable kissing and fondling of the breasts.
For genetic women the reality is that their fertility peaks in their late teens when they have an 80+% chance of getting pregnant in any 12 month period if regularly having unprotected sex. It's no coincidence that women are (putting all correctness aside) at their most beautiful and attractive to men when in their teens - and that their bodies are urging them to find an attractive mate for sex and trap a high calibre partner to look after them (i.e. not necessarily the same man). Female fertility thereafter starts to decline, dramatically so from age 35 - more than one-in-three women are technically infertile by 45 and the most of the rest rapidly follow, despite a few highly publicised exceptions.
The fertility of men (based in sperm count) probably starts to decline even before women but the average man is actually older than the average women when they have their first acknowledged child. Also the fertility of 35+ men declines more slowly than women, and many men remain technically fertile in to their 50 and even 60's.
The libido of women seems to decline slower than their fertility, but still faster than men - particularly if 45+ and in a long term relationship where the availability of sexual opportunities doesn't make the heart grow fonder. In recent years there has been a lot of media coverage about well-heeled 40-something single female's seeking 'toy boys', but a much larger number of mature men are 'sugar daddies' for far younger women.
As far as I can make out there has been no research that correlates the libido and sexual activity of genetic women with post-SRS transsexual women an age related basis. In the UK the typical MTF transsexual has SRS surgery when age 35 to 45 - this creates considerable possibilities as regards both the level of their libido and actual sexual activity a year or two before and after surgery. I have my own suspicions - for example that a 20-year old MTF transwomen has a below female mean level of actual sexual activity before hormones & surgery, but an average or even slightly higher one afterwards. I look forward to some comments.
You can read a little about my own sexuality and experiences here.
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Copyright (c) 2006, Annie Richards